If I had no sense of humor, I would long ago have committed suicide.
When humor goes, there goes civilization
A proton walks into a bar, hops up on a barstoon.
[Bartender] Say, you need to get out of here. We don't serve your kind.
[Proton] What do you mean you don't serve my kind?!
[Bartender] We don't serve electrons in THIS bar.
[Proton] I'm not an electron. I'm a proton.
[Bartender] Are you sure?
[Proton] Yep. I'm positive!
Love is blind.
Marriage restores all sight
A Colonel runs into the General's office:
"Sir! We have an insurmountable problem!"
"Colonel, we don't have problems in this command. We have opportunities!"
The Colonel stands at attention, salutes, and says "Sir! We have an insurmountable opportunity!"
Us Southerners are a proud lot, and we love where we are from. We also have a sense of humor about it.